Stupidities Du Jour # 114-121:

#114: On Food For Ultimate Canivores:

Grilled Maitre d'Hotel

Steamed Children w/Green Onoin and Ginger (Half)

Tenderloin of Pork Merchant, Vegetables

menu items from Bali, Hong Kong, and Thai Airways

#115: On Things Not To Say During National Libraby Month:

"One of the great things about books is that there are some fantastic pictures."

President George W. Bush

#116: On Huh?

UNCHANGED TRADITIONALLY...TRADITIONALLY CHANGING

slogan printed on Kokomo High School letterhead (thanks to Michelle Reed)

#117: On Thoughts That Get Stuck In Your Throat:

"You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it."

San Diego Padres sportscaster Jerry Coleman

#118: On We Still Prefer The Louis Armsrtong Version:

I see trees of greed redes too I see there bleem for me and you and I think to myself "What a wonderful world."

What a Wonderful World lyrics, as printed in Korea

#119: On We're Not With You There, Allan:

It's like pushing a car uphill with a rope.

Toronto mayor Allan Lamport

#120: On Spring, Strange:

Where the birds are blooming and the flowers are chirping.

line from actual car commercial, advertising a spring sale (thanks to Andrew)

#121: On Can't Argue With That Department:

Family Feud host Richard Dawson: Something Russia's famous for.

Contestant: Russians

Stupidities Du Jour #109-113

#109: On But Do They Come With A Modem?:

SUPER SOFT COMPUTERIZED SOCKS

from an advertisement in India

#110: On At Least They're Open About It:

SPECIALIST FRAUD PANAL FIRM based in West End require experianced paralegals to assist in the preparation of several major frauds.

help-wanted ad in the Law Society Gazette

#111: On 12-Inch-High CD Towers, Essential Warning About:

DO NOT USE AS A LADDER

label in 12-inch-high storage rack for compact disks

#112: On "Why, Yes, It Is So Silly"

"I always say-this is so silly-but I wish there were, like, little boxes at every corner that you could list the thing that speaks to you, like: I love the environment, I want to protect it! I care about animals!"

actress Drew Barrymore

#113: On What About Baal?

The Ceylon Place Baptist Church has been sold- but the congregation are still searching for someone to worship.

Eastbourne Herald (UK)

It's been a long week. Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it...

Stupidity Du Jour #108: On Yes, You Are:

"This is lap 26, which, unless I'm very uch mistaken, is halfway through this 58-lap race."

racing commentator Murray Walker

Stupidity Du Jour #107: On Try It Again:

"Today Lesbian forces invaded...no, sorry, that should be Lesbianese."

TV newscaster during a news report in the UK, on a Lebanese conflict

poop. I'm hungry, only not really. I'm going to bed. nightnight.

Stupidity Du Jour #106: On Funny, We Weren't Thinkin' That:

New Family Feud Host Richard Karn: Name something London is famous for.

Contestant: I'm thinkin' pasta.

Yeah, no. Sorry, kid. I just finished with Easter dinner, and I'm feeling slightly lethargic. ttyl

Ava